i hate systemd

why i fucking hate systemd

“If this is the solution, I want my problem back.” no quote has ever hit harder.

systemd is a cancer. plain and simple. it’s a bloated, arrogant mess that infects everything it touches. you install linux expecting freedom, modularity, control. instead you get this overgrown corporate turd shoving its tentacles into every part of your system like it’s entitled to be there.

i don’t want an init system that thinks it should manage my dns, my logging, my user sessions, my fucking coffee machine. i want an init system that starts the damn system and gets out of the way. systemd can’t even do that without choking on its own complexity.

everything it touches turns to shit

everywhere it goes, it leaves a trail of destruction. updates break systems. services fail silently. logging randomly disappears. boot times become a lottery. the moment you let systemd run your show, you’re not running linux anymore you’re running linux™, the Red Hat cinematic universe version.

and the bugs. jesus christ, the bugs.

services going mute after a journal restart
pid1 crashing and looping because of a timezone change
background processes nuked the moment you log out
multi‑million dollar outages because some developer decided to YOLO a patch into the mainline

this isn’t rare. this isn’t bad luck. this is what you get when you hand over the keys to a lumbering, monolithic, control‑freak of a daemon that wants to be emperor of your box.

it’s a fucking cult

you ever try questioning systemd? you get dogpiled by neckbeards screaming “modern” like it’s a magic word. as if “modern” justifies stupid design decisions, unreadable logs, binary journal files, and spontaneous process terminations.

they treat criticism like heresy. systemd is their sacred cow, and you’re the crazy one for wanting things to work. forget actual system behavior, forget logs that make sense, forget predictability all that matters is that systemd is “the future.” fuck the future if that’s what it looks like.

unix is dead and systemd killed it

remember “do one thing and do it well”? systemd does fifty things and fucks them all up. it turned a clean, understandable, composable OS into an incomprehensible mess of units, scopes, slices, targets, and magic dependencies that explode if you breathe on them wrong.

you can’t even switch it out anymore. half the major distros are so deep in the systemd quicksand that trying to remove it is like trying to amputate your own spine. that’s not software that’s a hostage situation.

how to not be a victim

you want to run a real system? ditch systemd. rip it out. or better yet, run a distro that never touched that garbage in the first place. stop being a boot‑time cuck and take back your machine. stop letting this roach daemon run your life. start using software that respects you.

because systemd sure as hell doesn’t.

Matthew 7:13-20. Beware of idolaters and deceitful prophets.